For me.. Gender is...

It's the end of the semester and I think I should do a conclusion and sum up what I learned so far.

I think Gender and post-modernism can be related.
Post-modernism is all about truths and whatever works because there is no a single TRUTH anymore. So as Gender, in this case, gender is a way to express ourselves. There is no right or wrong anymore. Gender is more like an identity and we are freely to identify ourselves in todays world.

Gender is a concept. It is a concept on our mind and what we have been thinking shapes how we think about gender in our society. Or maybe should I say, Gender is NOT real, it is just something on our mind.

Gender is socially constructed. Our social history shapes how we see gender differences.

Religion and Gender

What we believe and what are our faiths shapes how we look at different things, including how we identify ourselves and look at Gender.

Today in class, we had a student, Larissa, who grew up in a Greek Orthodox family and how she sees the relationship between Gender and Religion. This reminds me the first time I had interaction with a Greek Orthodox family when I was hitch-hiking to the Grand Canyon. They were my first hitch-hiking experience. The father is a father at a Greek Orthodox church in New York City. We spent about 2 hours in the car talking about religions and the church of Greek Orthodox.

One thing that I observed is that the father and the son made all the decisions, from when to stop, what do read in the car, and to which way to drive do. The mother was just sitting there enjoying chatting with me and acting a more caring role. She is more like a assistant. I felt like she has the best job ever, in which is telling people how beautiful they are and sharing laughs with everyone that she knows. (She kept telling me I am beautiful.. and I have beautiful eyes...) Her job is to make people feel warm and happy. But did she choose to do this? Could she work from 9-5 in a office rather than helping her partner? I feel like Larissa is right. I don't think she had the choices or she never thoughts there would be any other choices anyways. So is this also an example of oppression? I don't think she suffer from the traditions or the policies that made by that religion. But Oppression is also hard to see. What do you think?

Oppression!

Another example: It is common in the United States that women, especially younger women, are in a bind where neither sexual activity nor sexual inactivity is all right. If she is heterosexually active, a woman is open to censure and punishment for being loose, unprincipled, or a whore. The "punishment" comes in the form of criticism, snide and embarrassing remarks, being treated as an easy lay by men, scorn from her more restrained female friends. She may have to lie and hide her behavior from her parents. She must juggle the risks of unwanted pregnancy and dangerous contraceptives. On the other hand, if she refrains from heterosexual activity, she is fairly constantly harassed by men who try to persuade her into it

and pressure her to "relax" and "let her hair down"; she is threatened with labels like "frigid," "uptight," "manhater," "bitch," and "cocktease." The same parents who would be disapproving of her sexual activity may be worried by her inactivity because it suggests she is not or will not be popular, or is not sexually normal. She may be charged with lesbianism. If a woman is raped, then if she has been heterosexually active she is subject to the presumption that she liked it (since her activity is presumed to show that she likes sex), and if she has not been heterosexually active, she is subject to the presumption that she liked it (since she is supposedly "repressed and frustrated"). Both heterosexual activity and heterosexual nonactivity are likely to be taken as proof that you wanted to be raped, and hence, of course, weren't really raped at all. You can't win. You are caught in a bind, caught between systematically related pressures. (Gender Basics: Feminist Perspectives on Women and Men, 2nd Ed. Minas, Anne. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth/Thomson Learning. 2000 pp 10-16.) 

 When I was reading this, I was disappointed, at the same time I am infuriated that I cannot disagree. This not only applies to women, but men as well. Our society is full of this kinda of 'assumptions' and norms. But if we really look into this deeply, everyone should find this kind of assumptions very stupid. So you can't have too much sex, too less sex, or have wild sex? But at the same time, there is no a universal definition of 'too much' 'too less' or 'too wild'. Why judge? we are all living in a post-postmodern society.

Gay = 3rd Gender?

http://www.whitecranejournal.com/50/art5004.asp

I was reading this blog and found it very interesting to read.

Gay = 3rd Gender? What do you think?

I just think if we call male and female the 1st and 2nd gender is just WRONG.

My Gender Identity...

Today we learned a model in class that how other see us, is related to how we identify ourselves, as well as how we express ourselves. These three elements are related.

Here is my model:

I think others see me as a male but not 100% male. I think its more like M M M M F

(I think part of the reasons that people think of me in this way is because I am an asian? Because if I am in Hong Kong, it would be a different view)

I think I identify myself as a male. ( M M M M M)

I like enjoy being a male and i don't think I can ever spend hours to get ready everyday like most girls do.

And I express myself as a male most of time. (M M M M O)

Transgender?!

We had a presentation about transgender issues today. But one thing still bothers me is how is transgender related to sexuality.

For example, If I am more attached to men and wanted to be the more feminine role in the relationship, am I consider a female? Or If I were a woman, and I only attach to female( but the person is a transgender man), am I a lesbian or straight? There was a couple in our class who is in this kind of relationship and they label themselves as lesbians, but she has a penis!? and Sexuality is related to SEX instead of gender-based. Sex is biological and a woman who is attached to a man (even she expresses herself as a female individual) , doesn't this make her straight? Or Sexuality could also be gendered in some situations?

We also talked a little bit about Drag Queen issues and how we all express ourselves in ways that related to how we identify ourselves, as well as the Two-Sprilt Native American group people. In my opinion, words like 'Male' and 'Female' are culturally constructed, and in some places like Hongkong, 'middle-sex' is commonly known. These words are NOT real. They are just an image on our mind. If we start to make some changes like educating our new generation that genders could be male, female, n/a, mostly female but sometimes male ... ... Shouldn't we have a better world where everyone understand that no matter what, we are all human beings?! The key is really about our public policies and social institutions haven't given us a clear idea about what gender and sexuality are all about.

Places like Ghana, Male same-sex sexual acts are illegal in Ghana, though female same-sex sexual activity is legal. It is NOT fair and this is still happening is because the policy makers do not understand that, after all, we are all human beings, not matter how we look like, how different is our skin color, or how we express ourselves.

Me and my friend, Kevin, who is a famous drag queen in Oregon.

UGLY BETTY!?

Ugly betty has been a popular TV show for a few years. In America, we don't see too many latino actors/actresses on the TV and we rarely see any asians stats on TV (Well, except Ken Jeong in The Hangover, or, maybe you could say Jackie Chan is kinda famous)

But most people that we saw on the TV or movies are White people. It makes us to believe that Whiteness is normal and is commonly accepted. And at the same time, people from all over the world are watching those Hollywood movies, learning about stories of white people. White just becomes an ideal color.

Media shapes how WE see the world. Try to imagine that a person has no contact with asian people and what would she/he feel after watching the Hangover? Are all asians that crazy? Are they all short? Do they all talk so funny? This kinda of memories might just stay on our mind because we all think the actor in the movie represents realities.

Oppressions

I want to share this poem with everyone who is reading this.










WHEN I WAS GROWING UP

Nellie Wong

I know now that once I longed to be white. How? you ask. Let me tell you the ways. when I was growing up, people told me I was dark and I believed my own darkness in the mirror, in my soul, my own narrow vision. when I was growing up, my sisters with fair skin got praised for their beauty and I fell further, crushed between high walls. when I was growing up, I read magazines and saw movies, blonde movie stars, white skin, sensuous lips and to be elevated, to become a woman, a desirable woman, I began to wear imaginary pale skin. when I was growing up, I was proud of my English, my grammar, my spelling, fitting into the group of smart children, smart Chinese children, fitting in, belonging, getting in line. when I was growing up and went to high school, I discovered the rich white girls, a few yellow girls, their imported cotton dresses, their cashmere sweaters, their curly hair and I thought that I too should have what these lucky girls had. when I was growing up, I hungered for American food, American styles coded: white and even to me, a child born of Chinese parents, being Chinese was feeling foreign, was limiting, was unAmerican. when I was growing up and a white man wanted to take me out, I thought I was special, an exotic gardenia, anxious to fit the stereotype of an oriental chick when I was growing up, I felt ashamed of some yellow men, their small bones, their frail bodies, their spitting on the streets, their coughing, their lying in sunless rooms shooting themselves in the arms. when I was growing up, people would ask If I were Filipino, Polynesian, Portuguese. They named all colors except white, the shell of my soul but not my rough dark skin. when I was growing up, I felt dirty. I thought that god made white people clean and no matter how much I bathed, I could not change, I could not shed my skin in the gray water. when I was growing up, I swore I would run away to purple mountains, houses by the sea with nothing over my head, with space to breathe, uncongested with yellow people in an area called Chinatown, in an area I later learned was a ghetto, one of many hearts of Asian America. I know now that once I longed to be white. How many more ways? you ask. Haven't I told you enough?

Since I am a minority here in the US, so I ask myself, how did I feel I was living here in the US?

During my last 3 years living in the US as an asian male, I was surprised that so many Americans came to me and expected that (a) I am good at Math (b) My major is Business or Engineering (c) I eat rice everyday.

However, I failed to meet all these expectations form them.
First, I am NOT good at Math. I didn't finish high school and I supposed to have 2 years Math to take. But I skipped 2 years of High-school and went directly to a college in the US. I got a B in Math for Liberal Arts at a public college (the easiest class that everyone got an A/A-) and also a D- in Calculus, and I still remember I got a 37/100 in my final. Compared to American students, I am bad at Math.

Second, I can't study science with my Math skills and I didn't even interested in studying Business anymore. I still remember how it felt being the only asian student in a History class during my 1st year of college.

Plus, I do not eat rice every day. I only had rice like once /week even I was in Asia. I prefer pasta and noodle.

I feel like Americans had been labeled Asians in many ways and it seemed to me that we were all the same to most Americans. But we are NOT. And this kind of wrong beliefs have made us to limited ourselves sometimes and maybe wasting our times to overcome problems that it bought to us.

I remember pretty much all my asian or asian-american friends told me that- If you can't get into UC Berkeley, UCLA, or not even USC, people would think you are a stupid asian (at least all asians would think so). And that's why UCB has more asians student than white students, because all asians (especially for those in California) are expected to get accepted to UCB. The society is making us to 'adjust' and 'be part of the norms'. While all my Hong Kong friends are going to UCB, USC, and UCLA happily and feel like being accepted by the asian community, I was the only one who choose not to attend any of those schools and this made my mother did not talk to me for 3 months. I had to goto the food bank a few times and was homeless for the whole summer. See how much you will suffer from these kind of expectation?

I would say, all my asian friends are very hard-working, and they try very hard to overcome how others look at them but still adjust themselves to meet some of their expectations that others have.

Gender across cultures

It's two very famous singers and actresses in Asia singing a song about American Cowboys...
No wonder so many asians want to be cowboys... or cowgirls...

Media does affect how we express ourselves. In this case, people in Asia are interested in American culture and western ideas in general. When people in Asia watch TV shows and Music Videos, they instantly get the idea about what to be and who they might want to be. SO, some people want to be cowboys because they think cowboys are cool but they never watch hippies in Music Videos in Hongkong and they had no idea what does hippies do. The option of being a hippie man has never came to their mind, but cowboys.

Media gives us a chance to learn about new ideas and influences how we think, at the same time, it limits us what we think.